SLEEP.

There are several ways to change, it seems; to abandon, to leave behind old versions of those selves so that what happens on repeat is not a giddy defeat, more an inability to envision how to wriggle out of indecision. A splurt appears, a splutter, a gurgling, then: a disturbing. Vibrating, tingling sensations are ejected throughout the darkened hours. Meaning when sleep eludes there is nothing other than hatred conceived toward that other. And they say, they say, that it is entirely gendered, that the noise of dry air penetrating loosened muscles can be a product of society. Or perhaps it's just a way of being.


They've been feeling vulnerable for some time. So that now, their life feels terrifying. And the only reprieve is a night time insertion of their Sleep-Guard...


Customers have told us that our anti-snore mouth guard has not only stopped their snoring, but also improved their confidence, relationships, motivation and general wellbeing.


The flesh-like silicone is inserted into hot water for twenty to thirty seconds, placed between the teeth and pressed firmly to adapt to the users mouth. During the first few sleeps, there is a feeling of discomfort, a saliva build up unlike any other. But, very quickly, the user will adapt to the strange contraption that pulls the lower jaw forward so that the tongue doesn't flap about and the oxygen inhaled can silently be filtrated, rather than dragged down the back alley of the gullet like a grizzly roar in a vacuum.


And so they consider, all the reasons why this week has felt especially difficult. The energy accrued around the throat chakra, that for several years has left them contagiously disconnected. The smoking doesn't help, but you see, when they research what it is that encourages that violating sound, the disconcerting projection of a noise that couldn't be further from their considered daily self, well, they feel lost.


Common causes of snoring include:

- The way you're built.

- Being overweight or out of shape.

- Nasal and sinus problems.

- Age.

- Sleep posture.

- Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.


Kinda sexy.

Kinda drunk.

Kinda high.

Kinda broken.

Kinda ...


Filling in the blanks of hedonism, an attack on the individual who tows the line. On the self who knows what to do and just doesn't know how to do it anymore. So that a glimmer appears, a snigger and a chewing down the inside line of the outside shine. Gurning their tits off on a Tuesday night would have been an absolute delight if they didn't have to turn into a fully functioning adult during the course of two hours. Hitting the pillow with a fright, knowing full well that there is never enough time. This is not enough to be alright. The bloated belly and the dark regret, fretting over the ten thousandth cigarette, and the reason they rolled it was to forget. To just be, in a state of ecstasy for a delicious second longer. In a state so disconnected from reality. Every time the ticker chimes, well it felt absolutely sublime to snuffle up another line, so that 2.09 propelled frantically into 9.02 and then, and then, another blur. Another distinct annoyance, head down, brow frown, how can they turn this sleep bruxism around?


It's a book that can easily be quoted on repeat, especially when in company. Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker is a gold mine of scientific one liners. That when told with enough tenacity will leave your admirer tingling with curiosity. Listened to in the early hours of the morning, when, of course, sleep is evading. And when you wake up to the messages you sent, to the people you shouldn't have. And the delete option isn't available because they've already blue ticked your garbled interpretation of a dream with them featuring quite heavily in. The shame is sticky in the aftermath of one of those sleeps. One of the sleeps where you know you shouldn't really even have them in your subconscious, that they are in yours, but you're not in theirs. Or that you made it into an elevated world of dreamy despair. Of eating glass on repeat or attempting to fix a terrapin with a broken leg, which makes absolute sense. Inserted into the dream interpreter (google) for a clarification process. And of course, of course —you're in love.


Circadian rhythms make this transference more extreme, when the bird becomes an owl and the owl eats the worm before the dawn. Or that in some way there is a power trip, a switch making someone other believe that they are in some way better than the person who sleeps from 5 am to midday. But, you see, there is no right way, or, maybe there are better ways, but, not always correct ways to experience the puerile relief of sleeping beside another. To completely release in tandem, in two. The body curled so neatly adjunct, could be any body, really. As long as those beating boundaries are released together. So that connection is affirmed.


And then a day comes, with a jolt in the back. The spot nudged firmly at night. Which potentially could have been a cajoling sensation, but in recollection is more an elbow digging. A terse telling off...you're snoring again...I am incredibly sorry darling. So sorry that I stop breathing, I truly am. And I think you left me because of it. I think you were so confused by your inability to sleep and my inability to stop. But I'm not overweight, I don't think. And I don't smoke anymore and I'm trying not to drink. I bought a pillow and inserted a tennis ball. I fall asleep at the table during breakfast and then again at lunch time. I punch my throat when you're not looking and sometimes my nose when you are. I wish I could understand the night terrors. I wish I could see underneath the covers of a different version of me. That I cannot communicate all that I wish is potentially what you hear when the gurgle awakens. When the curtains shudder and the bedcovers cower. For now, I will disappear knowing full well that it's potentially my body's way of saying: we're not ok.


Men have narrower air passages than women and are more likely to snore. A narrow throat, a cleft palate, enlarged adenoids, and other physical attributes that contribute to snoring are often hereditary. Again, while you have no control over your build or gender, you can control your snoring with the right lifestyle changes, bedtime routines, and throat exercises.


I only exercise so that I can disappear.